Monday, March 12, 2018

The Third Party Compliment

One of my favorite things to do is pass on a compliment. I don't mean give a compliment (I like doing that, too), but rather if I hear another person talking positively about a friend I like to let the friend know. Following me?

This weekend I was on the road this weekend and was listening to Marlene Eick's podcast Live Your Story. I posted on my Instagram story how much I enjoyed her podcast. Several followers sent me private messages sharing how much they also love Marlene's podcasts. So instead of keeping those compliments behind closed doors I took a screen shot of one and sent it to Marlene. Thus the third party compliment was delivered.

Today, Marlene was interviewing me for an upcoming episode and she shared how much the compliment meant to her. If I hadn't chose to be the middle man that compliment would have stayed hidden behind the closed doors of a direct message. I know there are probably more than a few of us (including me) that have been guilty of sharing "did you hear what so and so said about you" in a not so positive light. So why isn't it automative that we share the positive. 

Why do compliments matter? 

People are craving positive feedback. When someone singles you out to highlight something positive about you if feels like a blanket of happiness washing over you. In my Keep Collective business one of the most important things that I can do to motivate and support my team is to dish out recognition. Research has shown that compliments light up the same part of the brain, the striatum, as being given money, both of which are huge motivator.

I remember when I noticed a new Designer on my team was making huge strides in her business and hitting her goals. I sent her a message to congratulate her on a job well done and shared with her the potential I saw in her. It wasn't until a month or so later that she shared with me that she cried after reading my message. Even though she appeared to have a successful corporate career she shared with me that she couldn't remember the last time her boss paid her a genuine compliment. 

You get the warm fuzzes too.

Have you ever thought about how you feel after delivering a compliment. It takes our focus off ourselves and makes us think about others. Compliments also strengthen and deepen our relationships. And how often after you give a compliment do you end up receiving one. Your compliment can start a chain reaction of happiness.

The next time you hear something positive about another don't be afraid to pass it on. 

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