Sunday, November 9, 2014

The Biggest Wedding Mistake You Can Make

This post could be easily titled biggest wedding mistake, baby shower mistake, graduation mistake as it seems if you forgot this one step people are going to have a sour taste in their mouth. I'm taking about not getting thank you cards sent out.

Yes, the dreaded writing of thank you cards.

It doesn't matter how beautiful your dress was, how awesome the party was or how happy your guests were to celebrate with you. If you don't get those thank you cards in the mail I can guarantee that will be the part that your guests remember.

What is disappointing is how few thank you cards are now sent. So, why does not getting that thank you card in the mail get a bur under my saddle? Frankly, it's rude not to send one. I think it especially bothers me for the events we aren't able to attend. Yes, we are very sorry we can't make it to your big day, but I still took time out of my busy schedule to pick out a gift that I thinking would be fitting, find a card and put it in the mail. Sometimes I don't even know if our gift arrived due to the lack of thank you card.

And no, these excuses are not acceptable:
1. It is a busy time of year. Everyone is busy.
2. We gave favors at our wedding as a thanks. Nope doesn't count.
3. We posted a thank you on Facebook. Really, do you think Great Aunt Sally would find this acceptable?

I know thank you cards can be time consuming so consider these tips to help you get them into the mail: 

1. Don't be afraid of pre-printed labels. Writing a thank you can take time, so save time and use address and return labels or
2.  If you are having a shower (baby or wedding) ask your hosts to have each guest fill out an envelope with their address.
3. Follow the rule of "you can not use the gift until the thank you card is sent." We did this for our wedding and trust me it motivated us to get those thank yous wrote faster.
4. Use the plane ride to your honeymoon destination to write a few. Everyone is going to tell you to relax and enjoy your honeymoon. However, trust me. You will be a lot more relaxed if you don't have a pile full of unwritten thank you cards awaiting you upon your arrival home.
5. Divide and conquer. Get your husband involved. Especially on the ones that are from his close friends or family.

Other tips
1. I love to give stamps or note cards as gifts. This relieves a little bit of the stress off of the bride, mother to be, graduate, etc.
2. If you received cash or a gift card consider letting the give giver know what you are going to spend it on: new towels, saving for furniture, putting to use on the honeymoon, etc
3. If you are wanting to use a photo from your wedding in your thank you card talk about this with your photographer ahead of time. Often it can take 4-8 weeks before you will receive your wedding photos, and this could delay getting your thank you cards out.

Trust me. Your guests will appreciate the thoughtfulness when they receive that thank you card in the mail.


  1. Couldn't agree more! I'm knee deep in thank you notes over here, but I'm telling you, I will be sure to get every last one done quickly because it really does matter!

    One thing that worked well for me was that after each shower, I gave myself one month to get all of the thank yous written. That way, going into the wedding, I was all caught up and didn't have to come home to hundreds of waiting notes. Sure, I've still got all the notes from the wedding, but that's way better than having all the notes from all the showers plus the wedding notes!

  2. I had our wedding Thank You's out a week after our wedding (around 175). I had a wedding picture of the husband and I along with a handwritten note specifying their girt. If a gift came in early the note was in the mail the next day.

    Even with my photo business my clients receive a handwritten note (if I have time a homemade thank you card) thanking them for booking with me.

    It's a must in my opinion.

    1. Carrie, thanks for stopping by the blog. I am sure you made someone's day when they received that thank you.

  3. This is a great life rule too! It drives me nuts when people don't say thank you in general and it's amazing how far a little "thank you" can actually go.

    1. I agree. Thank yous can make the world of difference.

  4. Glad I'm not the only one that's a sticker on timely thank you's. Reading this triggered a pet-peeve of mine... Couples using their Christmas card as their wedding thank you when their wedding was 6 mo ago! In my mind you can only get away with that if your wedding was after thanksgiving. Call me crazy and an old lady!


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